Setting limits and understanding your children's behaviour will help your family enjoy meal times, advises social worker Elizabeth Blyth:

Most parents have experienced meal times, which have become battlefields. Your child won't eat, throws food, leaves the table; parents yell, argue and cry. No one enjoys the meal and no one really wins the battle.

Here are some ideas for avoiding hassles:

1. Regular meal times
Toddlers may be better off with six small, healthy snacks rather than three larger meals a day. Children need to be fed dinner early - tired children are always a recipe for disaster.

If this does not fit with a parents' return from work, save family meals for weekends or until your child is older. If you are late picking up your child from childcare, he/she has probably had lunch and afternoon tea and may only need a quick snack before bed.

2. A regular place to eat
When the high chair appears, your child knows what is expected. An easy-to-clean area - kitchen or balcony - or a large plastic sheet under the chair means you'll be less upset by the inevitable mess. It takes practice to feed yourself neatly.

Older children like variety - a picnic on the deck or in a tent in the garden makes a special treat. Save restaurants for older children and take them for lunch rather than dinner.

Offer variety and encourage experimenting when children are hungry with foods they really like, or with food from your plate - someone else's food always tastes better.

Find safe ways to involve children in food preparation, for example making up a salad. They will often eat something they have made.

3. Let children decide how much they will eat
Allow older children to feed themselves. Never bribe or force a child to continue eating after they say they are full. Of course, children will make mistakes and eat too much or too little but that is all part of learning.

Don't fuss over table manners or unacceptable behaviour. Behaviours we may find disgusting are part of learning about food. Squishing bananas or spitting out food are normal behaviours which decrease over time.

By five years of age, children usually understand basic table manners but will not always practise them.

Formal table manners are less widely used today and can wait until later. This can cause conflict for grandparents who were often brought up more formally. The key to dealing with this is to communicate clearly and calmly your goals and the reasons behind them with your children's grandparents but not at meal times!

Toddlers throw food as part of experimenting. A firm "no" and avoiding picking it up while they are watching will be enough.

For an older child, a warning followed by a calm consequence such as removing the food is the most appropriate response. No child has ever starved from missing a meal.

Consult your doctor or child health nurse if you are constantly battling with your child or concerned about your child's food intake or if your child seems lacking in energy.